Satan Disendorses Trump

LUCIFER, Prince of Darkness and Emperor Apostate of hell, has officially disendorsed Republican presidential nominee Donald Jeronimo Trump. “His actions comments are beyond the pale,” announced Satan, a key backer of the Reagan and Bush administrations. “On behalf of all of the legions of the damned, I’m cutting all ties to the Trump campaign. IContinue reading “Satan Disendorses Trump”

Who Said It – Hitler or Trump?

Jaundiced schlockmonger Donald Trump could be the next Emperor of Freedomland and everyone is all in a tizzy. But has anyone noticed that this racist demagogue has qualities in common with the only other racist demagogue anyone can be bothered remembering? Amazingly, nobody has ever thought to compare Trump with Hitler. Until now! These quotesContinue reading “Who Said It – Hitler or Trump?”

PM says policies don’t target millennials: also hurt elderly, children, the unborn

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Bligh Halifax Rameses Turnbull has struck out at claims that his policies unfairly disadvantage millennials, arguing that they unfairly disadvantage all generations other than his own. “Of course our policies aren’t some kind of attack on young people,” the PM announced to a press conference held in his negatively-geared harbourside hedgeContinue reading “PM says policies don’t target millennials: also hurt elderly, children, the unborn”

Randomocracy

There are questions that cleave nations, the junctures where the paths of history fork. Who has the right to vote? Is this is our war to fight? Should above the line Senate voting change from a group ticket preference system to an optional preferential system wherein voters are instructed to number a non-mandatory minimum ofContinue reading “Randomocracy”

Citizen Clive

Just when you thought that Australian democracy was as lifeless as a roadkill ‘roo smeared across the asphalt of capital, it has risen, quite literally, like Lazarus. For years, progressives have yearned for a political visionary to shake up the major parties, someone with the gumption to stand up to corporate lobby groups and callContinue reading “Citizen Clive”

Microparty Megaguide III: All Tommorow’s Parties

It’s sixteen hours before Anthony Abbott delivers his victory speech, leering like a blue-tied Caesar over the smouldering ruins of Gaul. I’m hunkered in my bunker staring at this screen, draped in a ratty grey dressing gown and struggling to think of a word to write. Maybe it would be easier if I thought thatContinue reading “Microparty Megaguide III: All Tommorow’s Parties”

Microparty Megaguide Part II: Ecofascists and Country Matters

☼ ECOFASCISTS AND COUNTRY MATTERS ☼ If Metropolitan Australia rides the sheep’s back, it makes sense that said sheep would want to chuck it off, chew on its ear a bit then gallop off bleating into the sunset. Country Australia has been a major force in politics for a century. The Nationals are still theContinue reading “Microparty Megaguide Part II: Ecofascists and Country Matters”

Microparty Megaguide Part I: Godbotherers

This election’s Senate ballot is over a metre long and requires a magnifying glass to read, with candidates sprawling from “A” to “ZZZ”. A lot of folk will use this as an excuse to vote above the line in the Senate like the freedom-hating reprobates that they are and end up unwittingly preferencing the AlContinue reading “Microparty Megaguide Part I: Godbotherers”

How many dead babies does it take to win an election?

I would say that reading about the election fills me with a hollow, nauseating despair; except that reading that reading about the election fills people with a hollow, nauseating despair also fills me with a hollow, nauseating despair. It seems like the most dull, painful cliché of this dull, painful, cliché-infested election is how dull,Continue reading “How many dead babies does it take to win an election?”