Their Melbourne

From Southbank to Carlton, the city of Melbourne is littered with sky-blue posters. They carry the slogan Our Melbourne and the beaming face of Lord Mayoral candidate Sally Capp. Capp is the frontrunner for the by-election that follows by the resignation of Lord Mayor Robert Doyle after an independent investigation found that he sexually harassedContinue reading “Their Melbourne”

The Cake Baker’s Tale

The same-sex marriage postal survey is almost upon us. For some, the consequences of this vote will be life-changing. It’s obviously despicable that our government has outsourced responsibility for its people’s of civil liberties to an opinion poll. But since they have, decent Australians must do everything we can to fight for the human rightsContinue reading “The Cake Baker’s Tale”

The Minister for Home Affairs

Content note: This piece includes graphic discussion of suicide and reference to abuse Just as I said I wouldn’t, I forgot them, and their stories got tangled up with all the other distant horrors. In May, last year, two young refugees under Australian care set themselves on fire. Omid Masoumali, an 23 year old heldContinue reading “The Minister for Home Affairs”

Consider a Notebook

Consider a notebook. Thick parchment, licked yellow by salty air, and brown ink in a grand loopy hand. It sits in the cabin of one James Cook, and specifies, in no uncertain terms, that a “discovered” land may only be claimed in the name of the King under one of two conditions – that itContinue reading “Consider a Notebook”

Beyond Bluewashing

Content Note: The following piece contains reference to mental illness and suicide A fortnight ago, the Weekend Australian published a profile of Jeff Kennett so glowing you’d be forgiven for thinking he wrote it himself. The obsequious puff-piece gushed about the resigning chair of Beyondblue, citing the “indefatigable can-do spirit hard-wired in his soul” andContinue reading “Beyond Bluewashing”

One Nation

There’s worse news every day. Thursday, 15th of September: in her maiden speech to the Senate, Pauline Hanson declares that Australia is “in danger of being swamped by Muslims”. Sunday, 18th of September: speaking to a forum of European conservatives, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott describes the influx of refugees to Europe from “Middle EastContinue reading “One Nation”

2016 Senate Guide: The Cooked-O-Meter

What a wild ride it’s been. And although this roller coaster campaign hurtles to its thrilling conclusion, the zany gaffes and nail-biting drama will be with us forever. Who could forget Malcolm’s cold? Or Tanya Plibersek’s game changing snafu in week two, when she accidentally said “good morning” at 12:17pm? Or the unforgettable moment inContinue reading “2016 Senate Guide: The Cooked-O-Meter”

Who Said It – Hitler or Trump?

Jaundiced schlockmonger Donald Trump could be the next Emperor of Freedomland and everyone is all in a tizzy. But has anyone noticed that this racist demagogue has qualities in common with the only other racist demagogue anyone can be bothered remembering? Amazingly, nobody has ever thought to compare Trump with Hitler. Until now! These quotesContinue reading “Who Said It – Hitler or Trump?”

PM says policies don’t target millennials: also hurt elderly, children, the unborn

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Bligh Halifax Rameses Turnbull has struck out at claims that his policies unfairly disadvantage millennials, arguing that they unfairly disadvantage all generations other than his own. “Of course our policies aren’t some kind of attack on young people,” the PM announced to a press conference held in his negatively-geared harbourside hedgeContinue reading “PM says policies don’t target millennials: also hurt elderly, children, the unborn”

Randomocracy

There are questions that cleave nations, the junctures where the paths of history fork. Who has the right to vote? Is this is our war to fight? Should above the line Senate voting change from a group ticket preference system to an optional preferential system wherein voters are instructed to number a non-mandatory minimum ofContinue reading “Randomocracy”