Review Of A Racist Chain Email Sent By An Elderly Relative

I have family member I love deeply who can be a teensy bit xenophobic. Their emails are invariably forwarded chain letters that range from cute brainteasers with clip art to hateful Islamophobic tirades. I don’t know where this petite, garden-loving octogenarian gets these screeds from  – probably the Klan mailing list they subscribe to –Continue reading “Review Of A Racist Chain Email Sent By An Elderly Relative”

Lest We Regret

With William the Conqueror’s third most senior patrilineal descendent visiting Canberra on Anzac Day, it’s a very exciting time to be an Australian. But while we’re busy marveling at the fine breeding of our Reptilian overlords and making fun paper-maché masks of little Prince George, it’s important to remember what today is really about. On thisContinue reading “Lest We Regret”

Roy’s Three Little Lines of Surprise

I have beef with an Australian cartoonist. It’s not Mark Knight, with his ardent support of the Herald Sun’s 2010 “sterilise the underclass” campaign. It’s not that trembling whimsymonger Leunig, with his toilet-calendar Babylon built of tea cosies and spiritual introspection. It’s not even the charming Larry Pickering, with his anti-Semitic rants and fetish forContinue reading “Roy’s Three Little Lines of Surprise”

Faster, Higher, Stronger

As the icy lights of Sochi begin to thaw I think we can all agree that Russia deserves a pat on the back. Sure, there were a few teensy weensy human rights violations, but they were eclipsed by the glorious spectacles of human achievement, like people using pieces of fiberglass to slide down hills quiteContinue reading “Faster, Higher, Stronger”

Hops, Barley and Ruin

Neknomination died out quickly, didn’t it? It had scarcely been picked up by the gluttonous tabloid outrage factory before going the way of planking and Sleepy Sickness. I recorded a video a few weeks back, and rather than let it be lost down Zuckerberg’s plughole like most of the rest of my life I thoughtContinue reading “Hops, Barley and Ruin”

A Meaty Proposal

It’s that time of year when the cicadas scream, the fires crackle and Sam Kekovich awakes in his palace of meat. For months he has slumbered, his still flesh almost as pink as the enormous steak on which he lies. First one eye, then the other, open to survey the sausage chandeliers, the cutlet curtainsContinue reading “A Meaty Proposal”

7 Reasons Why The Kid’s Show “Madeline” Is About The Secret Bloodline of Christ

I want something to go viral. My toes are adorned with a mysterious scaly pox that I really ought see a doctor about, but I’m pretty sure that’s fungal. I think we can all agree that I’m inherently entitled to the perpetual worship of a million frothing fans. Fans who’ll live for my debonair witContinue reading “7 Reasons Why The Kid’s Show “Madeline” Is About The Secret Bloodline of Christ”

Microparty Megaguide III: All Tommorow’s Parties

It’s sixteen hours before Anthony Abbott delivers his victory speech, leering like a blue-tied Caesar over the smouldering ruins of Gaul. I’m hunkered in my bunker staring at this screen, draped in a ratty grey dressing gown and struggling to think of a word to write. Maybe it would be easier if I thought thatContinue reading “Microparty Megaguide III: All Tommorow’s Parties”

The Invisible Disappearance of The Silent Generation

Comparing generations is usually a ridiculous indulgence in pop academia and generalisations, and this post is no exception. Anyone who’s had the misfortune of reading any of endless execrable columns called “Why Gen Ys Are Twitter Dependent Sociopaths” or “Why Gen Ys Aren’t Twitter Dependent Sociopaths” written by some beaming twit in a tabloid liftContinue reading “The Invisible Disappearance of The Silent Generation”

O Ye Brood of Vipers

A few weeks ago a friend of mine posted a strident defense of the Hillsong Church on Facebook, and I decided that it would be a rich and productive experience to while away the rest of my day trading insults with a flock of fundamentalist Christian youth. What is the collective noun for young Evangelicals?Continue reading “O Ye Brood of Vipers”