The Cake Baker’s Tale

The same-sex marriage postal survey is almost upon us. For some, the consequences of this vote will be life-changing. It’s obviously despicable that our government has outsourced responsibility for its people’s of civil liberties to an opinion poll. But since they have, decent Australians must do everything we can to fight for the human rights of some of our most vulnerable citizens: evangelical Christians who work in the wedding industry.

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Whingers

Eddie Mabo. Rosa Parks. Nelson Mandela. These people all have one thing in common – they were sooks. But were they flogs? If the Adam Goodes saga has taught us one thing, it’s that sooks aren’t necessarily flogs and flogs aren’t necessarily sooks, though either are usually both. But what it hasn’t taught it us is that white Australians who boo an Aboriginal activist are probably racists, because how can they be when Adam Goodes is a sook and a flog and Rita Panahi is an Indian?

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The Eight Deadly Sens – Part Deux

In the three months since I wrote the first half of my musical profiles on the Crossbench Senators (which were pretty obsolete even at the time) a lot of crazy shit has gone down in Canberra. Australia’s Woodstock Floriade has come and gone, Australia’s Disneyland Cockington Green has done a roaring school holiday trade and Eric Abetz has learnt to control silver with his mind. So where the Corangamite have I been? Well, mostly stuck on a horrible writing procrasticoaster, riding in circles around the rickety well-worn tracks of my limbic system while a sneering coat-hanger of a carny refused to budge the breaks. But the other reason for the wormwood-bitter pang of my absence is that each of the dozen times I’ve sat down to patter out this post I’ve been so overwhelmed with tedium and despair at the state of our Parliament that I’ve shut down into a drooling Palmeralysis. So, after a not-insignificant amount of pulling with the aid of needle nosed pliars and fermented grape juice, I present to you – my teeth.

Jacqui Lambie (Palmer United Party)

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