How to Make a Mediocre Podcast

In celebration of the release of my podcast, Bensplaining, I’m sharing this highly clickable how-too-guide I wrote for another blog.

It’s 2017, so if you don’t have a podcast by now you’re nothing. How do you expect to be relevant and employable in the 21st century if your personal brand has no voice? Automation is coming for us, starting with the stragglers, and you’re still pottering around the house like Sarah Connor’s parents. Frankly, you’re fucked.

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Satan Disendorses Trump

LUCIFER, Prince of Darkness and Emperor Apostate of hell, has officially disendorsed Republican presidential nominee Donald Jeronimo Trump.

“His actions comments are beyond the pale,” announced Satan, a key backer of the Reagan and Bush administrations. “On behalf of all of the legions of the damned, I’m cutting all ties to the Trump campaign. I may be the cloven-footed embodiment of evil, but being assosiciated with this blabbering fascist is starting to hurt my brand.”

Lucifer claimed that his stunning denouncement was inspired by Trump’s recent rise in the polls. “We put him up as a bit of a joke, but we never expected it to go this far. He’s facing over a dozen unresolved rape allegations, including from his ex-wife, and is still on the brink of becoming president? How can I support him when  I myself am a father? How could I look the abstract concept of lies in the eyes?”

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Autopsy of an Unappreciated Joke

As the sky cracks and the earth burns, our hearts are afroth with Pokémon Go. I hate the sneering dismissal of pop culture – it’s elitist, patronising and hypocritical. But with a world in crisis from Baton Rouge to the South China Sea, it is important prioritise where we invest our attention and energy. And as I look at the the levels of interest different topics receive on social media, I can’t help but think that that something is amiss.

To take an example completely at random, the other day I posted a status to Facebook about the new British Prime Minister, Theresa May. It was a three word joke – “Yes We May.” Hardly the funniest thing ever written, though at the time I thought it was pretty sharp and accessible. Twenty four hours later, it only had one like. Now obviously I don’t care about how many likes my statuses get on Facebook, but doesn’t that say something interesting about the trivialisation of our cultural discourse? Here was a well-crafted nugget of timely political satire, and people were too busy catching Jigglypuffs to notice. Continue reading “Autopsy of an Unappreciated Joke”

2016 Senate Guide: The Cooked-O-Meter

What a wild ride it’s been. And although this roller coaster campaign hurtles to its thrilling conclusion, the zany gaffes and nail-biting drama will be with us forever. Who could forget Malcolm’s cold? Or Tanya Plibersek’s game changing snafu in week two, when she accidentally said “good morning” at 12:17pm? Or the unforgettable moment in week four when Matthias Cormann’s leg got caught in a rotating door and was mangled from the knee down?
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Who Said It – Hitler or Trump?

Jaundiced schlockmonger Donald Trump could be the next Emperor of Freedomland and everyone is all in a tizzy. But has anyone noticed that this racist demagogue has qualities in common with the only other racist demagogue anyone can be bothered remembering? Amazingly, nobody has ever thought to compare Trump with Hitler. Until now! These quotes are from either the Moustachioed Menace or Orange Boy – see if you can guess which belongs to whom!

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Screw the Election, this is now a Food Blog

Frankly, dear reader, I’ve had it up to pussy’s bow with your downright negligence. I work my fingers to the marrow  on this blog, toiling tirelessly to make sure you have a post to read as often as three or four times a year. And what do I get for it? A dozen likes on Facebook and supportive emails from Dad. My ego has needs. Sometimes it feels like you’re not interested even in my hilarious two-thousand word lectures on Senate reform.

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Well, I may be too trusting but I know which way the wind is blowing. Effective immediately, this is now a Food Blog. My wallet also has needs. I’m experimenting with native advertising – a dynamic client has agreed to pay me 37 cents for the product placement in this post. Hopefully, this cleverly integrated marketing strategy should be too subtle to be distracting. See if you can work out what it’s for! ❤

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