Morgan Freeman and Fallon inhale helium

Ongoing conflict in Gaza and the Ukraine was overshadowed today by shocking reports that Morgan Freeman and Jimmy Fallon inhaled helium. The “Tonight Show” host and co-star of hit Jim Carey vehicle “Bruce Almighty” inhaled the gas from red balloons, the same colour that paints the jagged ruins of Palestinian hospitals and the smouldering wreckage of Flight 17. Millions watched these dramatic events unfold in a day that many will never forget, especially when Fallon and Freeman finished imbibing the invisible gas and spoke in squeaky voices.


Terrified onlookers were not disappointed by the helium-modified pitches of the iconic Academy Award winner and fresh-faced tv funnyman, unlike civilians in Gaza and Donetsk begging to cradle their children’s bodies one last time, who could never in their darkest nightmares have anticipated the pain and horror that life would deliver. More than a thousand non-combatants have lost their lives in a high-tech missile blitz and unprecedented ground assault by the Israeli Defence Force in a matter of days, just as veteran comedian Jay Leno lost NBC’s highly prized talk show desk to the SNL alumni in February.

The beloved seventy-seven year old actor appeared on the program to talk about upcoming action blockbuser “Lucy”, a sci-fi blockbuster set in a post-apocalyptic dystopia not dissimilar to the one that the rapid escalation of tension between Russia and NATO is making an ever more realistic probability. Although these humanitarian crises continue to deepen with tedious predictability, it is unknown whether Jimmy Kimmel and Michael Caine intend to inhale helium again in the future.

Read more about these developments in Time Magazine.

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